Death and Dying



  Counseling and Care at the End of Life
  Call: 412-687-1234


Where death is concerned,the adage "What you don't know won't hurt you" is false...Death is unavoidably part of our lives. Not thinking or talking about death doesn't remove us from its power. Such ostrichlike behavior only limits our choices for coping with dying and death. When we bring death out of the closet, we give ourselves an opportunity to clear away the accumulated rubbish and keep what is valuable (Spelder & Strickland, The Last Dance, 1997).
Are You Traveling Without a Map?

A Layperson's Guide to Advance Care Planning

This is a quick overview of Living Will and Medical Power of Attorney. Go to Caringinfo.org for much more.

See also: a new Online Course (Free!)

Coping with Death: Financial Considerations in a Time of Need
 
In Hospice, Care and Comfort as Life Wanes
By JANE E. BRODY
Published: November 30, 2009

I spent a day last month shadowing hospice workers from the Visiting Nurse Service of New York. With each visit to the homes of four patients whose lives were ebbing, the caring, patience, attention and expertise I observed left me wondering why all medicine is not like this — focused on the whole person, not just a disease.

Click to read the full article from the New York Times.
 
Rosetta Life: Bringing Meaning at the End of Life Through the Arts

Rosetta

Rosetta Life is an organization in the UK that uses the arts to empower those who face a life-threatening or life-limiting illness. The core of Rosetta Life’s work is artist-led residencies in hospices. They work in partnership with hospices and hospitals to deliver public artworks that create a voice for the palliative care community.

The Rosetta Life website provides:

  • an online exhibition of all the work that is happening across the country;
  • an archive of the artwork made in hospices from 2001 - 2004;
  • a forum for hospice users to share ideas online and to discuss projects that are being made.

Rosetta Life believes strongly in cross-platform delivery and the virtual galleries are complemented by live exhibitions and public performances in the physical spaces of the hospices and local arts galleries.

Rosetta Life is now widening access to the web site and developing partnerships with regional MND Associations, the MS Society and the Stroke Association to enable people living with chronic illnesses to participate online and engage in the arts projects we run regionally and nationally.

Click here to view a promotional video about the mission and work of this marvelous organization.

 
 
What I Wish I'd Known About Talking to a Dying Parent

An article from Caring.com based on an interview with palliative care doctor David Kuhl
Click here for the full interview.

When is the best time to have an important conversation with a dying parent or relative? "Now," says David Kuhl, a palliative care doctor who studied the most important wishes of people with terminal illnesses for his book What Dying People Want.

When Kuhl was a newlywed at the bedside of his dying father-in-law, before he became a doctor, he and his wife missed that opportunity. "The hospital staff said to us, 'Why don't you go home? He could be here for a long, long, long time,'" he recalls. "Now I know that, by the way he was breathing, they knew it wouldn't be a long, long, long time. I wish somebody had said, 'We're not sure whether it will be a day or two, or even just hours. So if there's anything you want to say to him, or if you want to just be with him or hold him, now would be the time.'"
Click to continue
 


Advance Directives

New York Times: Personal Health (article)
 
by Jane Brody
 
See also: Jane Brody's Guide to the Great Beyond (Random House: 2009)
 

Brody bookFrom the beloved New York Times columnist, trusted authority on health, and bestselling author comes this complete guide to everything you need to know–emotionally, spiritually, and practically–to prepare for the end of life.

An invaluable road map to putting your affairs in order–or helping your loved ones do the same–this comprehensive book will answer every question you might have about what does and does not help smooth the transition between life and the Great Beyond. Wise, practical, and characteristically straightforward throughout, Brody advises on

• the intricacies of a well-thought-out (and fully spelled-out) living will that health care practitioners readily understand–and how to designate a health care proxy.
• planning a funeral or memorial to ensure your wishes are followed, including tips on how to reduce expenses.
• discussing prognoses and treatment options with doctors.
• your options for controlling pain, shortness of breath, bed sores, and other physical symptoms–plus the facts on feeding tubes.
• receiving the support you need through hospice care–and suggestions for loved ones and friends who want to help.
• lightening and enlightening your trials by incorporating spirituality into your life.
• understanding what happens, physically and mentally, when death is imminent, and recognizing when hand-holding and reassurance, not food or drink or an oxygen mask or CPR, is the proper course of action.
• easing your way through the journey of grief by admitting the reality of the loss, showing your emotions, and allowing yourself the time you feel you need.

From the Hardcover edition.

 

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Holding Our Own: Embracing the End of Life

Holding Our Own ImageA film by Fuzzy Slippers Productions

Click HERE to see the trailer of this powerful yet tender treatment of our final life passage. It features artist Deidre Scherer, the hospice chorus Hallowell, and Ira Byock, M.D., author of DYING WELL.

The video may take a few minutes to load.

Books of Interest

What Dying People Want: Practical Wisdom for the End of Life
by David Kuhl, MD

Facing death results in more fear and anxiety than any other human experience. Though much has been done to address the physical pain suffered by those with a terminal illness, Western medicine has been slow to understand and alleviate the psychological and spiritual distress that comes with the knowledge of death. In What Dying People Want, Dr. David Kuhl begins to bridge that gap by addressing end-of-life realities--practical and emotional--through his own experiences as a doctor and through the words and experiences of people who knew that they were dying.