Women physically recover from pregnancy loss in a relatively short time. The emotional recovery often takes much longer. The level of a woman's or a couple's grief depends little on the length of time the fetus lived in the womb. The loss of a life unlived carries other losses--lost dreams, loss of plans, loss of expectations of family, of parenting, of the future.

Deep sadness, tinged with bitter resentment, self-doubt, self-blame, and a sense of isolation are feelings that can persist for weeks or months or even years.

Family and friends aren't able to sustain their support and empathy beyond the first few weeks. They begin to feel helpless and uncomfortable. They say: "You'll have another baby." "You've got other children to ease your loss." "You will forget." The pregnancy and the loss are no longer discussed. Parental grief is cut short, disenfranchised. Life resumes, But that precious life is never forgotten.

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Articles and Websites

→Pregnancy Loss: When the Unexpected Happens
→Secret Club Project: Understanding Pregnancy Loss Through the Arts
→March of Dimes: Resources on Pregnancy & Newborn Loss

Podcasts and Videos

NPR Podcast: A Mother's Memoir of a Child She Never Knew
A story about Elizabeth McCracken and her book An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination

Books